Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Paint Brush

Present looks vague, The future is...Vaguer
Past is well written and done. 

I walk on this road that seems to be vanishing in front of me.
Is there a road to walk on or is it vaccum
Everything seems to be so futile.
Every relationship like smoke.

Am i painting my own life?
Or am i buring it down?

Give me that paint brush and please step out that door. 
This is my world.
And who told you to paint my world black and white?
It was red and blue that i wanted. A lil green. some yellow. All the rainbows. 

And what is this potion?
I said i want happiness and craziness and a lil bit of insanity.
And look!  what are you giving me ? sadness, Pain and wrath.

Have you lost your mind Dear lover. 
I did want to paint a world with you but not one that brings me to the doors of destruction.

Oh look at what you have created.
A perfect blend of heartaches.
You enter. you leave. You happy. Me sad.

You're not an artist. 

Oh look there you are. How happy you look in this picture. 
I wonder how good it would feel to erase you off this board.
Could I edit you?
Could I actually just make you mine.
A refined version of you?

Give me that paint brush let me make a few changes.
Give me a bigger paint brush you fool, dont you see how tough this would be?

Give me that paint brush let me paint YOU.

- Muskan

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

My Lil Heart

Everyday I wake up And I find myself in the midst of a war between my mind and my heart. 

Earlier the heart ruled and now the mind is trying to take over just cuz someone Brutally Injured The heart. 

Its Surprising how the heart is still putting up a fight and with all it's might says 

"I Won't stop until the last beat. And i won't stop waiting either. So go on punch me in the face again cuz I know i will get what i really love"

Tuesday, 1 May 2012

A Wish

Looking skywards i try to find something spectacular. 
Something you don't usually see everyday.
Everyday i look for a shooting star. They say you get what u want if you wish upon a shooting star.

but well there are times you want more than one shooting star.
Or rather u want to wish upon everything u can that could get you something that you really wish for.

Its surprising how an atheist would look skywards and talk to someone out there and beg and plead
Its surprising how religiously it is done every single day.

I can't wait for my birthday. Why? I get to wish before i blow out the candles .
I am finding reasons now. 
Can i not just wish every single second?

I like a 10 year old believe that this one wish of mine would come true.
Yes it will.

To be honest i have no clue whats happening.
But yea i am wishing upon everything that i could.

Finding You, Again

There are times when you want something so bad that You psyche yourself out. You close your eyes and that image comes rushing into your head.
Memories, snapshots, You name it.
I Wish i could Mix my Dreams into My Reality Like a magic potion.
Reality hurts like a fresh wound and my dreams are the painkillers.
You my love would make it go away , its like feeling nothing at all.
You are out there somewhere behind those doors that lie locked ahead of me. I have found u before and i know i will unlock that door again.
But For now just let me sleep, Because that's the only place i find u close to me.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Hold On..

*the alarm went off* she turned it off, took a deep breath and got cozier in bed. 
Sun rays falling on her skin.. the breeze playing with her hair..A new Day.
From behind His arms looped her..
She smiled..a feeling that she wants to hold onto forever,
The smile she doesnt ever want to wipe off her face.
He kisses her on her cheeks and says "I love you..i always will"
She just closes her eyes ..

Her phone rings.
She wants to switch it off and feel him embrace her, but she instead answers it..
On the other end a person tells her to come to the hospital asap..
Before she could ask that guy anything the person hangs up..

She turns around to see him lying there looking at her and smiling..
She tell him that they need to go to the hospital..
She gets ready and the guy follows her..
All thru the way she talks to him and the guy remains silent..
He holds her hand and not for a minute looks away..

She parks her car and rushes inside..he still follows.
"Whats wrong, i got a call that its an emergency?" she said.
The cop tells her to follow him..
They walk a few steps and she finds herself in a morgue.
She is clueless

They enter..
This is where everything flips.
her mind goes in a state of shock..
She feels like someone just crushed her heart..
"i am sorry for your loss ma'am" the cop said..and walked away

She looked at that lifeless body..And had nothing to say..
she couldnt breathe, she was next to brain dead..
She closed her eyes and whispering to herself "please..please..please..."  turned around.. 
He was gone.

Ghushing through her mind came those memories and that one sentence " I love you..I always will"

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she sat there holding his hand...and said...
"I would always love you too"  :'( 

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

StraightJacket Feelin..

"You're selfish !!" one shouts at the other..
the other stands there silently..
"You just think about yourself" the other continues..
the other still doesnt say a word..
"Get lost !! " was the last thing one had to say to the other..
Both walked away from each other..
And you were standing right in front of them and you stood there being silent like watchin a movie playing on the big screen.
You follow the one who din say a word into the room..you both dont talk you just sit there with her..
She starts sobbing like a kid..you get up to hold her and realize you are tied down in a straighjacket..you try to break free but you cant..You try yelling but she doesnt hear you...its like you dont exist..

she cries herself to sleep..
the next day history repeats itself..
and those two are again standing in front of each other..
There begins the movie. you get up to slap the other but Sigh you're in a straighjacket..
You follow her everywhere she goes..
The same evening you try talking to her..she Blocks you out..
You sit there helplessely watching like a fool..
"Dont take shit" is what you want to tell her and probably she already knows that..

You try once again..
"Listen...dont do this to yourself." I said to her..
She freezes.... 
"I know you hear me.." i continue..
"You are special . dont ruin it for yourself over someone who does'nt care.."
She closes her eyes..takes a deep breath..
"I tried to keep you out of my life and i did not want to listen to you.." she said 
Tears trickle down her cheeks again..And again i was just watching..
"STOP IT" i Yelled.. "ENOUGH"
"i am your "MIND" you cant tie me up in a straightjacket and let things Happen to you.."
She gets up walks away..

** We all have a mind of our own..We know what to do..but we dont..we know what to say but we dont..its more like keeping it tied down..Its more of helplessness.. A state where you refuse to help yourself out even when you know there is a way out..

After all its just a straighjacket feeling..

Monday, 26 December 2011

The Womb . Part 1

Glass shattered all over the floor.
What seemed to be something so beautiful to people never turned out to be so.
They both fought day in and day out.
It might be beautiful once upon a time.
It all changed later.
The wife sobbed all night.
She forgot what she was like. She forgot the last time she smiled. All that she had to show to the world was pretending to be happy.
She tried her best to keep him happy but the ignorant man overlooked it every time.
she was lifeless.
she left for her moms place . Her mom said "Go to hell..". Her mom never cared either.
Everyone needs someone to speak to and she had no one. She couldn't even look at herself in the mirror and utter a word.
She slapped herself over and over again and said "why are you alive?"
She rushed to the kitchen and got herself a knife.
She looked at it as if it was her key to freedom.
It was freedom for her. A place where no one has to shout at her or tell her how perfect everything should look like. Or how she was good for nothing even though she did everything.
She held that knife firm in her hand and standing in front of the mirror took a deep breath ready to break her chains from this mad mad world.

Just that moment when that sharp Object would have slit through her flesh. She heard a laugh. The laugh that Would make anyone smile or make them forget all their worries.
She opened her eyes and looking in the mirror, on the bed behind her she saw her 1 year old child looking her her and smiling. She looked at it and the knife dropped from her hand and she burst out in tears.
She ran towards her kid held it tight and said " oh lil one , I will live for you."